How does it feel to kick yourself for making a mistake? Not very good, right? Mainly because as you are berating yourself you get stuck in that negative constrictive energy that stops you from moving on.
This week, learn what two steps you can take to get unstuck and move yourself into greater awareness.
Please leave any comments and pass on this video to anyone you feel would benefit from knowing how to move themselves from self-criticism to expansion.
Love your TrueSelf and get unstuck from negativity!
Toni Rebic, M.A., Psychologist
Two Steps to Remove a Mistake
We definitely are far from perfect. We make errors all the time – and sorry to tell you that this will never change as it’s our human nature. Yet so often I see people making themselves feel bad for errors when truly, there is no way around it. We blame ourselves, put ourselves down, get hard on ourselves, and what happens when you do this? That’s right – you get stuck. So not only did you make this error you feel bad for, but now you are beating yourself down for it.
Well here’s a way to get unstuck from feeling bad about a mistake you’ve made…(cue music)
Hi, everyone. I’m Toni Rebic, lover of life and the creator of true self psychology.
It doesn’t always feel good to know you’ve made a mistake, but what’s even worse is how you can treat ourselves for having made it. From my professional viewpoint, people don’t come to see me because they made mistakes, they come to see me because of how they treat themselves for having made them. Most times people berate themselves – and sometimes horribly – for doing what is most often a simple an error in judgement, or attention or part of their natural development.
Now you will say, “Yeah but Toni, I did screw up!”, “I did fail”
Well ok – try looking at it in terms of energy – first, you feel you’ve made a mistake, which you feel as a negative emotion- then, you beat yourself down for it, that’s another negative energy. What do you think happens then when you compound those two negative emotions together? Does it make you feel any better? Or did you just create a bigger emotional fire that made you feel even worse?
If beating yourself down made you a better person, helped you learn good lessons, or evolve, I would say more power to you! I would even help with some few insults myself if i knew that would help in any way. Criticizing yourself for doing something you feel is wrong can never make you feel better, nor can it help the situation. You are not helpful to yourself, and you’re not helpful to your cause. It just takes a lot of energy to criticize yourself for making a mistake! Now – can being upset at yourself make you a little more aware? Possibly… But there is a better way to handle yourself. Some people think that being hard on themselves will allow them to do better. In the short-term, it can…But beating yourself down has a habit will exhaust you in the long-run…it is not a sustainable energy. And is why people come to see me for burnout or breakdowns… beating yourself down literally beats you down… how can it not?
So, you want to know how to handle yourself when you made a mistake?
Acknowledge and do better.
So the first step is to acknowledge: “ I hurt her feelings”, “ I wasn’t listening when they were talking”, “ I forgot to return his phone call”, “ I keep avoiding the issue”, “ I was really rude to her”… Basically you are stating your “error” without judgment. That’s acknowledgment.
Then, think of how you can do better: “ I’m going to say I’m sorry”, “ I’ll be more attentive next time”, “ I’ll call him first thing in the morning”, “ I’ll address the issue next time I see her”, “ I’m going to control myself better”…
How does it feel when you do better? You get unstuck. You experience greater positive emotions as you move towards a solution rather than beating yourself down – that’s for sure. [many positive words]
“Doing better” doesn’t require taking drastic measures, or having to learn these big life lessons. Sometimes I think people stop themselves from doing better because they think they need to make big change… Truly, the simple practice of acknowledging and taking small steps towards doing better releases you from those self-defeating emotions of guilt or remorse, and allows you s to move from stuckness to greater awareness – from putting yourself down to expansion.
So stop criticizing your errors,Be true to you and when you falter, simply acknowledge and do better.
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